So last night I had to say good bye to Ryan Reynolds...
He was leaving and leaving for good. Dressed in a smart black suit he climbed the stairs out of my life once and for all.
Sobbing I was digging around in my cosmetic bag looking for lippy to no avail.
And then I woke up
5 minutes passed before the pain in my heart and the heavy painful breaths subsided and only then I realized I was having a dream. Straight out of a movie scene that my mind created.
And then I was mad
F..ck you Ryan Reynolds
And it reminded me of a concept that had been rolling around in my mind a lot lately.
How many of you remember you first inkling of the sense of falling in love? Was it with a person or from a movie scene?
Because the Western concept of Love actually stems from our conditioning that often comes right out of non reality. TV and Movies
The idea of “falling in love’ with all of its melodrama and fireworks is actually not something that every one in every country feels
So what is up with that?
Is falling in love really love? Well I challenge you to look within and tell me if what we are really feeling is actually not love but desire
Desire means to want. To have. To make your own
How many times have you heard the phrases
He completes me
She makes me whole
I cant live with out you
Is that really love or are we actually try to fill our empty parts and mend our wounds with someone else?
And what happens when that doesn’t work?
It might be 5 months or 5 years but eventually we learn “well that just isnt going to work“ and suddenly our perception of our beloved skews.
This isnt working for me anymore
I dont feel the same about you
But actually what has happened is we have come one step closer to the truth of love
So what is love?
You are love so deeply and completely that all you will ever need is right inside of you already. Right now and always.
And until you know it, feel it and can give it to everyone and everything, you will never find it in anyone else.
So THAT is Love
Ok ok I hear your arguments -“‘ but..but we’ve been together forever! He’s my soul mate!! “
So what is up with that?
I remember hearing a story from spiritual teacher Adyashanti . Actually two stories
In one he spoke of an elderly Asian guru who came to speak at a gathering. He said in his country they did not marry “for love”but in fact they married “in the hopes of learning what love is”. He said it only took him 15 years to learn to like his wife!
In another story, one day Adya was with his wife at a local farmers market sitting at a local cafe having a coffee. Across from them sat a rather larger man devouring a cream filled donut in a rather undignified way. Suddenly tears began to roll down Adya’s face.
His wife said “ Oh Adya, again?’
In that moment Adya was so overcome with an immense love for the donut devouring man. A love so great and deep and wide he was overwhelmed
So what does that have to do with your husband, wife, partner of 30 plus years or 30 plus minutes?
Well Nothing but maybe something
Because what draws us to each other goes beyond just a biological imperative. It goes beyond rational thinking and the irrational concept of desire and passion we grasp for thanks to the movies.
We are drawn together to learn from each other. To grow. To create. To unfold the greater mosaic that is our larger collective reality. And whether it lasts 30 minutes or 30 years the lessons gained last a lifetime.
So F..ck You Ryan Reynolds. I dont need you and I dont want you
But I do love you. And me. And you.
Oh and lamp. I love lamp - that ones just for the Anchorman fans